Post to the future.

I'm just going to quote from a message I wrote to a friend, and it explains a bit about how I talk, and sometimes... think. That is when I do that.

By way of explanation, not excuse, sometimes I slide into 'social meme' talk, which does, now that you pointed it out, sound a bit Marlowesque. When I make obscure references to things that are kindof childish, it can be misinterpreted as being 'not all there'.

For quite a while, say about a couple years, I lived with this very pretty gal, and her lovely daughter who was 3 then 4 at the time. I got to watch her learn to talk. And I'd talk and play with her. We'd watch teletubbies together. Now, I know that the whole teletubby thing is a turn off for some people, and talking like a teletubby as a grown man, a computer technician nonetheless can cause some doubt in people's estimation of my ability.

"wut dat com-puteaaa? Weee, fan go round and round!! I make windows cwash! tee hee heee !'

So I channel that lingo into my talk, and people are like 'are you okay, dude?' and think I must have broken something in my psyche.
Most of it is a reference joke ... and sometimes I fail to let them in on what the joke is about... or I just came from a totally different place. Sharing teletubby talk on the internet with people who may not know, appreciate, or care about it... well. I still think it's funny.

(friend said I had a sardonic form of humor)

As far as sardonic humor goes... thank you so much. I am very complimented with that. Just the word 'Sardonic' alone made my ears perk up and wiggle a little. Who uses that word anymore? Well I do too, and refrain, because most people don't. So I drop to Teletubby level.

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So that is what was in my IM to her, some of it. Personal references are left out, but one other thing I did say, that I couldn't quite fit in, again for personal reasons, is that we all need another pair of eyes.

I use this phrase in the printing  / desktop publishing job I do that I try to get paid for. When reading something, we always need another pair of eyes to make sure everything is spelled right, the t's are dotted and the i's are crossed.

Did you just get that? Yeah, see, it can be tricky.

But what I want are electronic eyes, that can superimpose the metadata on what one looks at in 'real life'. 

See, Google Glass tries to do this, but it's not ready yet. Oh, it's being rolled out now for real, but it's not REALLY there.

The next phase of seeing and thinking will be instant lookup of anything that has ever been 'recorded'. The show 'Person of Interest' hints at this in the character of 'root' who just knows stuff because the computer who guides her mind knows stuff.

And anyone on facebook kind of 'knows this' because we all have YouTube, and Google, and WebMD and and so many other ways of referencing, searching, confirming, or disproving.

It almost becomes psychopathic in the ability to find whatever kind of absurdity we are in search of, or wish to attempt to confirm.

Nowhen has there been so much at our fingertips, and probably at no point have people had so much access, and then become so lazy as to just say 'oh I don't need to know that, I'll just look it up later'.

I'm SO guilty of that too.

Anyway, I need to write the story of two "types" of people who live through the Earth's freezing... the so called global warming, then the other side of the equasion where everything freezes. Yes, people do make it through that, but in the interveining 300,000 years they change.

What will people be like in 300,000 years? Well, not James Kirk, or Bruce Willis, or Milla Jovovich... although that would be nice.

No, it needs to be worked out different from what Hollywood - film producers - entertainment industry - marketers - say it should be.

The movie AI was one of my favorites. And most people didn't like it. Know why? The Humans ( us, our society ) does not win in the end. The android does. And those other transparent super race of whatever... does.

That to me, is Science Fiction done right.

father

My father was pretty much what I have become. 
He was a curious soul, and loved working with physical things. By that I mean things that could be pasted onto paper, like transfer type. You don't see that anymore these days, in fact most of what he did, taught, professed in, and wrote about has been replaced by computers.
Which is i suppose why he made me. Because I'd take up that new generalational thinking, and turn all of his swishes of the brush into flicks of the mouse.

But my father learned to do it all by hand.

Each
And
Everey
Step.

There was no record of his time before he met my mommy. I've seen some pictures. He dated this girl who was kind of fat and unattractive Ugly, I'd say,  but I am not a judge. Or a dog. He was, although he'd never admit it. He didn't like dogs. Maybe too much competition.  He felt inferior so he boosted up his game, and knew more about his subject than the average joe, so he could speak at length about subjects. mostly art, and how to make it, and re-create it. He took me and Rebecca ( mommy) to art galleries around New York City, where I now live, and did his ultimate best to show us that he KNOWS what is bright brilliant and beautiful.

It's weird in a way, he knew what was beautiful, but could not touch or create it. He could only talk about, and describe it. But at the very end of his life, I will send you some pictures, he painted what he saw that he loved. Mostly landscapes, some banrs. things you would take casuals note of and pay no more attention to, but my father had a deeper eye, a vision that cherished the usual, and turned it into the love.

Not so much Art for art's sake, but how to put together a really nice looking portrait of something you want to sell, and really, that what what he ultimately wanted to get hired to do. Make nice pictures of things to sell.

Why this love?

It seems late in the game for me. Yet all time is a fungible asset when it comes to love, life, laughter, and happy. I am in a state of grace Well, technically, I'm in New Jersey. But I am befunded by bright friends, who wish me well, and make my tuniverse a pretty song. I could not wish for, ask for, dig for more. There are even some people who look up at me and say 'he seems to know the answers' as if I have it figured out. Well dear loves, I don't but I do get the joke. And that is the first step in strumming in tune with our universe. Because it's all based on string theory... no not the difficult mathematical type, but the basic strings that connect our lives, our stories, our songs to one another. I follow those strings from station to station, people to venues, and somehow, it starts to make sense. And then it all falls apart.

I sing freely loud and clear. I stand, not alone but with a friend by my side to say this.

I wish beyond all wishes that I could lead others who are confused, miserable, in search of... lead them to understand that THEY are the universe we live. But then this happens. We  (sisTer Natasha and I ) get arrested for nothing. By those we entrust to protect and serve. I'm just telling the story, I am not judging. I love my brothers in uniform, you are doing what you think you know is right. I am not your accountant, but merely a few pennies what slipped through the crack.

I was in court earlier today. My sister, Natasha kept punching me in the arm, telling me WAKE UP. She kept telling me I was going to be thrown out of court for going to sleep during the proceedings. Sometimes I'd punch her back, a playful little slap of the arm, or a swat with my hat. "You asshole" she'd say. But we were keeping each other awake, and reminding each other of the deep shit we were SUPPOSED to be in. We both knew it was a joke. Well, it was so boring, and I really hate to tell it this way but it must be said. The monkeys who were trying to prop up this kangaroo court were busy in their books, I don't even know how well read they are, they were just posing as IF they thought it might impress those white folks, with their attempt at book learning. I saw how their eyes scanned the pages, the defense attorney was not reading, he was pretending to be knowledgeable. I saw through their lies and their idiocy. I saw through the bullshit today. and it just affirmed all that I know. A bunch of monkeys professing to be astute and fair, do what looks like due diligence, without any clue, and  probably do more harm than good in trying, the best they know how in trying to do good in harms way. All they know is lies drugs and subtrefuge, so when an honest person comes along, they have no idea what to make of it. Are you a Drug User? Are you a Pusher? Are you a ... no. Don't you get it? I'm an innocent bystander. "What is that? Why weren't you trying to break a law? Everyone breaks laws, what were you doing to break a law?"

We stopped our car on 18th street in Newark. That is our criminal offense. The monkeys go look in their paper-bound books of pseudolegalese, and try and convince us that we did something wrong.

This, this right here, whether committed by white racial supremacists, or those of dark skin who do the same without realizing it... that is the difference between neadrathal, and homo-sapien. I just sit by and while it may seem I am going to sleep, I am just bored by the slowness. by the unknowning-ness, by the assumption of guilt by proximity of crime, and while all these things are going though my mind, one monkey looks up and says "Your honor, if I may" and looks back in his book and contemplates what to say next but doesn't really come up with anything but "I wish to argue the case of 3:15, b, section 8 of the code of" Blah blah blah. It is stupid defined. and unfortunatly I find myself in the middle of their babbling. And utterly chained by the law-books they do not seem to be able to read.

I need to take a shower now, fresh warm water, to cleanse me, help me understand how to get out of the muck of stupid.

Apps and Offices and Object Linking & Embedding

I had a fun time playing around with Google Apps the last week or so. For most my basic needs the word-processor and spreadsheet are just fine. Unless you have highly intricate sheets with macros... a power user, you should be fine with them too for inventory lists, employee lists, calculators of whatever it is you want to program them with.

Google Docs are nice, but again, as I use the web and page layout, and illustration as primary means of putting things out there, my use of a wordprocessor is minimal.

I was even able to share snippets of Google's spreadsheet in a web page. Which was cool, but it wasn't editable.

Then I tried Microsoft Outlook.com got yet another MS email address - I've had several  in the past, hotmail, live, whatever.

Along the way I discovered the newly released MS Web Apps for Skydrive, and so far so good.  I like the fact that MS has kept the ribbon controls everyone has so reluctantly gotten used to.

I also think the'tiles for documents is kindof cool looking, but if you have lots of documents? Time to find out tomorrow, I'll load it up - all SEVEN GIGS worth. In another week or so that won't sound like much, but for basic documents, that really is a hell of a lot of storage. If you've got videos you put them in YouTube, and for music, use Soundcloud, or Mixcloud.

Best of all exporting part of a spreadsheet - a cute little resolution aspect ratio counter, I was able to embed the document into a webpage AND change the values non-destructively to have the calcultor actually calculate.

Best of all i was able to export just the amount of the spreadsheet I wanted... with the option to include or exclude sheets, and alllow or disallow the user from making edits. And password protected them to only approved accounts.

So far both Emails and Web Apps accounts are free, although Google is starting to charge for new business App Accounts. It's not much though, and probably worth it for support.  Microsoft may well follow, however they do offer a paid for expanded Office 365 product that is more fully featured. This is something Google does NOT have, so once again Microsoft finds a way of capitolizing on it's years as an office application platform,  regardless of the medium.

I'm actually glad to see this, because while Open Source has Libre Office, there's not enough development from the nonpaid VOLUNTEERS who update it to transition to a fully functional web app.

And this is just a very beginning, while SAAS is pretty much a vertical market for it's specific applications, more general applications may be arising soon which mix the boundaries of the document to the long awaited concept of a 'document container' that provides full applications within object elements. Need a spreadsheet module, just plunk one in and the full features of a desktop office based system is there in full to support it. Not just an integrated applet cobbled together to form an interoperable 'suite' but the whole deal. Inserting a picture is the same as creating a picture using Photoshop - think Pixlr.

What is so different now?

Some critical elements are in place that allows big data centers to handle all the various instances of the programs, do the calculations, conversions and keep document space on those very computers, and simply send the interface to the end user in real time. Of course this has been done many times before, but not in a fully integrated way, and not in the comofortable interactive friendly way local programs have provided in the past. What has really changed is the speed at which all these elements can be sent back and forth, and the onboard processing power of new web interface technologies.

4/12/2013

Gnirps in New Jersey

I went out doors yesterday and smelled
New Jersey.
At least that to me is the smell implanted many years ago
when I was a toddler
It's spring, and earth, and just some other odd combinations of taste, and wetness, and it's very pleasnt. Very alive.

IT was a beautiful sunny day, and then later on it rained like a bitch
And yelled with thunder
That was lovely too!
Still smelled sweet.

The F is silent.

I made a joke today,
my name is fox but all the letters
are silent, I'm like a ninja that way
and you can't take away
what you cannot pronounce,
and that's what I do use verbal Juditsu,
to pounce upon your every ounce of
trying to get out the mountains of

NO.

You ask the universe for some kind of curse,
for a word that started all the fire we burn, but of course
there aren't enough words to shake the feeling of misbelieving,
and thinking somehow, not to be lowbrow,
but the constant denominator is knowing how to name her,
and seeking a wisdom that isn't there, as much as you want to care,
and I am there with you but we don't see the same magic,
a trajic misdefinition of terms, and I will go to hell over this.

YES.

Think what you might and smite what you will,
but will is not strong enough to take the truth from the lies,
the ones I hear every day and try to make sense of,
in spite of my sense of order, disorder, and pretty faces
looking up toward me and asking if they can afford me,
and living a life of knowing the opposite of what you hold
so dear and all the apostiles will nod and beg forgiveness
that you can't grant them because you still believe them.

Hibernation

The State of Sleep, the genetic off switch which bears and fuzzy humans sometimes do, it's not like we have a choice, but the cold, the rain, the wind, the miserability of weather informs us that we should either put up or shut up, and our bodies tell us to shut up, and get as close to death as possible.

Yesterday - no, it was today... wait... some indefinite time ago a guy said that it is 10 days until March, and spring. So much about that I would love to believe, but I cannot.

I have lost my sense of time, and so too has my housemate Natasha,  the other day she asked me what day it is, and I blithly said "Tuesday". She thought for a moment, and said "It's not Tuesday, come on, really what day is it?" Not to belabor the point I had a one in seven chance of being right about the answer, and darn my luck, or lack of a smartphone, I was wrong.

The other day... er, night... I mean, some indeterminate time ago, I did a bad thing. Nothing evil, or that I could get in trouble over... but something that I feel terrible about, because this is the second time I've done this, and once was one time too many.

I told a lovely, beautiful, sparkily happy girl that God doesn't exist. I might have just as well told her that Santa Claws doesn't exist. She told me that this is just 'my opinion', and I know the treachery of trying to argue with the blessed, the comfortably numb, the sheep among us, and as soon as I realized what I was doing, saying, taking away from her, I felt bad.

Part of it is that I feel superior in knowing something they don't - that is, I know a reality where there is no safety net, there is no God that loves us so, there's no mommy, daddy, we are utterly alone and stuck  in a blender that just makes us go round and round, while we think we are 'in the mix' no we aren't and I know that... but that feeling of superiority goes away fast when you look down into big watery eyes that just beg for some reason of being, and please don't hurt me, I'm so happy believing in what I believe in, don't crush it!

I want to tell the truth. I want to say what is right. If you give me an equasion, I can run the numbers and prove this or that, find THE answer, but when it comes to opinion, and when someone tells me that it's just my OPINION that 1+1=2 and I don't really KNOW it for sure, I get upset. I didn't take it out on the dear girl, I let it stand that yes, it is just my opinion and I will keep my mind open.

My mind has been opened, and fucked with, and I am seriously okay, and know real from unreal, play from truth, blue skies from pain, and know that I have chosen a walk on part in the world, as opposed to a lead role in a cage (thank you Pink Floyd). This doesn't disillusion me at all, the lack of meaning doesn't bother me, hell, I'd rather know that there IS no answer than live my life thinking I have an answer and having it be wrong. That would be bad. That would be misleading, decieving, and that is why I felt so bad about what I said to this young girl... I had to say to her that I am wrong, when the rest of the universe tells me I'm right.

The pope resigned this week too.. I think it was this week... let's just say it was an indeterminate time ago, but yah, we've been depoped, there's a papal hole in the firmerment,  and now that he's resigned we can go back to calling him Cardinal RRRRAAATTZZZINGER!!! Say it loud, and roll the R's, it sounds so evil! He's not evil, just a placeholder, just another pawn, with a very good retirement package. But what he stands for, stood for, sat for, pontificated over, and tried to keep us steadfast in, is pure rot, sodomy, and gamoresh, a lassiez faire of breach of trust, sex, lies and scandal that frankly, he's admitted he's too old and tired to deal with. Smart of him to get out while there's been no actual damage done. Of course, we don't know that, but we'd like to believe, right? Wouldn't we? Please?


Please.

So two things I will never discuss again; religion, and politics. No, I didn't say anything about politics, and that's for one good reason. It's as bad as religion, just as volitile, and enough to melt the last few brain particles I have trying to shed any sense of truth to the matter.

Just say you love me, and lets leave it at that.